


Housebreaking Drabbles

by InsaneBlueGenius, PokeChan



Series: Housebreaking Angels [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Angels, Chuck as God, Dreams, Gen, Heaven, Holiday - Christmas, Missing Scenes, Multi, Other, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2013-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:29:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneBlueGenius/pseuds/InsaneBlueGenius, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/pseuds/PokeChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of side stories that fit into Housebreaking Angels. It will include little side stories of the main characters and some of the more minor characters depending on what we feel like writing. Each chapter is a different story.</p><p>Don't be surprised if the rating changes and we add pairings. Please pay attention to any warnings at the beginnings of each chapter/story</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Best Listener is Always an Old Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written by BlueGenius
> 
> This story fits into the middle of Chapter 10, it is about Joshua and his relationship with God and the rest of the angels of Heaven.

Joshua had been around a long time. He was made not long after the archangels and he had watched broods and broods of angels made after him, each one just a little different than the one before it. He had watched the Earth evolve as their Father tried out the environment with different creatures. He remembered watching what the humans now called dinosaurs as they wandered. They had mostly been sweet creatures but they had been too big for the Earth so they had, unfortunately, not been allowed to develop. He remembered Humans when they had first been made, his Father pushing and pulling his creatures until they evolved themselves into a close relative of the humans that were now on Earth.

His Father had made some special humans and added them into the mix, but that ever changing push was there in their DNA. It was there encouraging them to change on their own and to be the best that they could possibly be.

It had taken Joshua a long time to figure out why his Father had done this. To understand why his Father had made humans so different from everything else he had made before. Why He had made humans so completely different and pointed it out to The Host. Told them to love the humans even over Him only to cause the biggest war Heaven had ever seen. So big that it put the angels against each other and caused an archangel and several garrisons to fall. He remembered when some angels stationed on Earth had taken human mates and how God seemed to encourage it until He realized that it could not end well for the world. He remembered how sad Father had been when He’d had to destroy them. Joshua knew why He had sent a human son down to Earth to try and encourage change rather than washing everything clean and starting over.

Joshua had agreed with Father, humans were special. They were fascinatingly different. They were different than every other creature on Earth and that is why they were given something so unique as souls and why they were given the opportunity to enter Heaven when they left Earth. He had enjoyed watching them even among the fighting. He liked seeing how they made choices, trying to figure out why they made those decisions, and watching how they changed because of them.

Then Father left Heaven and didn’t come back.

Nobody heard from Him. Nobody could find Him. He watched the archangels fall apart looking for Him. He watched as Gabriel, who had always been closer to Earth than the other archangels, faded away from Heaven and disappeared.

Joshua had “retired” not long after that. He took over teaching some of the younger angels, forever sad that the fledglings would barely remember God’s true presence in heaven. He trained them to be able to fight against the forces of hell when necessary, since Lucifer being caged hadn’t shut down Hell. The human souls had simply started torturing each other with some help from some of the crueler supernatural creatures left on Earth.

He remembered the last brood, Castiel and Annael had always been especially inquisitive and Balthazar had been a rather sarcastic personality. In fact, their entire brood had been one big, special case – unique to the rest of the Host. They’d all been vibrant personalities and daring fledglings, each different from the other. He’d known right away they were a bit different to the others and they had all learned to fight beautifully.

When they were old enough to form their own garrison he had officially retired to the garden in Heaven. He would sit and take care of the energy growth and contemplate everything he had seen. It was at such a time that he had finally understood that his Father had always intended to leave.

His Father had made humans as self sufficient and self-evolving as possible and then He had left the angels as their guardians. There was no other plausible explanation for Father’s abandonment of Heaven. He must have meant to do so all along. He understood, after helping to teach the youngest generations of seraph’s that, eventually, you had to let go and let beings go their own way. His father must have felt the same and decided to finally act on it.

Not long after that was when he heard something he had thought he’d never hear again.

“Joshua, my son, I am proud of you. You are the only one who has been able to accept and understand my absence.”

Joshua knew better than to really question their Father, especially after such an acknowledgement. All he sent back was a soft thought of “I miss you. Will you come back?” To that he got no answer.

Sometime later as he was tending the energy vines he was contacted again. “You should know, since you were always close to him, Gabriel is alive and seems to be happy. If you can, give the impression that he is gone. I think it is best that he keep to his new companions.”

His Father continued to speak to him. Sometimes it was stories; little pieces of Earth that Joshua was missing, hints about what might happen soon, bits of gossip about the angels that Joshua didn’t hear much from. Joshua just kept listening, sometimes laughing or crying along with his Father. It made Joshua happy to know that Father was still watching Heaven enough to know most of what was happening.

“Humans are so creative, they continue to surprise me whenever they write or paint or make things. Have you seen some of the paintings of angels? Some of them are pretty amusing.”

“Can you believe what they’re coming up with? Boats that can travel the ocean in a few days time! It seems like they were just figuring out how to hallow out logs for getting down small streams only moments ago. These beautiful creatures! I’m glad you never questioned why they were my favorite, my dear boy.”

“The Marquis de Sade is a very strange man, his books do certainly paint a fascinatingly different view of humans. I’m not sure I really wanted to think this deeply into human sexuality, though.”

“Maybe I should try my hand at writing my own books instead of sending it through prophets. What do you think?”

“They’ve made a flying machine and it works! Can you believe that? Humans in the sky where I’d never meant to put them. They went and put themselves there!”

Joshua didn’t often have much to say back to his Father, he preferred to just listen and his Father seemed to like having someone to talk to. He never got replies to questions when he thought them and that didn’t bother him. It worried him more when his Father felt the need to address his thoughts.

“Joshua, don’t worry so much about Michael, he needs to learn a lesson and I think I made him too stubborn for it to go well. You know he misses Lucifer and worries for him. I know the same. Michael has yet to realize this.”

“I know the demons are up to something. Don’t give it too much thought; it’ll go where it needs to go.”

At least it meant that Joshua knew not to worry too much about the happenings in Heaven. Between that knowledge and some of the more nonsensical things that came from his Father he was always able to put his worries to rest before long.

“I think I rather like penguins. Why did I make so many different types though?”

He always had a rather mellow outlook when the other angels came to talk to him. Even after he had let it slip out once that he heard from their Father on occasion he had stayed this way.  It’s not as if Father gave him any important information that was deemed worthwhile by the other angels and every angel except Michael quickly learned not to ask.

So when his Father’s shared ramblings suddenly got a lot more interesting and specific, Joshua learned to pay close attention so he would know what to do and what to share.

“Do you ever wonder what the Nephilim could have been? They were so lovely, made from love between my beloved children. It’s a shame that the world wasn’t ready for them.”

“There are a lot more angels on Earth now. This is interesting. A lot easier to avoid since they aren’t even looking for me, that was helpful of you.”

“Joshua, all your siblings are in denial. They are perfectly capable of loving more than just me. How have they not gotten the message yet?”

“I don’t know why I thought to try writing on my own again. At least some people seem to like it this time.”

“The Winchesters are certainly special boys… and not just because they are vessels.”

“The message was ‘love humans more than me’ in case you were wondering.”

“Lucifer is out of the cage, I don’t know whether to be proud or worried. Have you seen Michael lately?”

“I hope Michael figures out brotherly love soon. I really did make him entirely too thickheaded, glad I changed that later on.”

“Of course, I worry that maybe I changed that too much later on. Were these younger broods always this impressionable?”

“Castiel is my favorite, he is the first one to _get it_. No telling though, it doesn’t work without understanding it on your own.”

“I have found a woman who listens almost as well as you do. She’s talks a lot more though. This is weird. Beginning to think I spend too much time alone.”

“I don’t think Lucifer or Michael will get the message if they’re so focused on fighting each other. Expect Michael to panic soon. Don’t worry.”

 “The Winchesters are very interesting in person and kind of scary, which is new. I think I’ll send them a present. They are going to change everything.”

Joshua smiled at this. Considering how excited some of the angels had been lately about the apocalypse coming he had been a little worried that something bad was actually coming. A change brought on by some of the most fascinating humans he had ever heard of couldn’t be bad. He spent his time in the garden listening to the rest of Heaven even as he listened to their Father. Heaven was constantly buzzing with news about the Winchesters. They had even sent Zachariah after them to try and get them to say yes to being vessels. Michael had even been too busy to come to the garden in an attempt to question him about Father, something he _always_ found the time to do. This made Father’s thought about Michael panicking a little worrying.

“I took away Lucifer’s powers, he’s all but human now. You think maybe he’ll get the message to love humans if he is one? That’s what I’m hoping for. If you see Lucifer tell him ‘There is power in lessons.’ But don’t pass that along to anyone else.”

“I wish I could see Michael’s reaction when he finds Lucifer. Maybe it’ll be lesson one for him.”

“It’s nice to see my children making friends.”

This is why, when Michael finally came storming into the garden yelling for Joshua, he wasn’t sure how to react until Michael spoke. He couldn’t help but feel a rather fond amusement for the archangel as he helped teach two important lessons, “You’re worried about Lucifer then?” he asked. And he watched as Michael realized that had always, and obviously still did, care about his closest brother. Joshua couldn’t help but smile as Michael absorbed the lesson he knew their Father wanted him to learn.

After a minute he continued, “I doubt your Winchesters are keeping him with them against his will, Michael,” he paid some more attention to the plants around him as he spoke “We both know that no one aside from God could have bound Lucifer’s Grace. Maybe if you go and find out why he has decided to stay with them you’ll understand the situation better.” Michael seemed to accept the explanation and the advice. Perhaps Father was right, Michael might just learn his lessons after all.

“You know, I’d always meant for humans and angels to interact more.”

Joshua grinned and the garden around him reacted to the positive energy swirling around him. He couldn’t wait to see what would come of his Father’s plan next.

 


	2. First Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very first thing Castiel remembers is seeing his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Poke
> 
> This chapter is pre-canon and therefore pre-HBA'verse.
> 
> So, baby angels. These are things everyone needs. A few things before we start.
> 
> Angels are born/created with quite a bit of knowledge. Like who their family is, where they fit into things, where they are, and God. Pretty much, they are born/created knowing the basics. The eldest of the brood (generation of angels) is the leader. They're born/created with slightly more knowledge and auhority, but are still at the development level of their broodmates.
> 
> There will be more baby angel stories to come, each one showing them at a differnt stage in their lives.

The very first thing Castiel remembers is seeing his family. Each of them blinking their eyes open for the first time, same as him. A few dozen fledglings all sat together, tiny wings flitting about, learning how to move, as they all looked around. The two brothers closest to him were Uriel and Balthazar. Castiel knew them, somehow. He knew they were his brothers and he knew their names. He knew he was an angel and that he was in Heaven. He knew, most importantly, that he loved God.

Slowly, the young angels began moving around. They totter back and forth, forms clumsy and new. They bump into each other and twist around each other in their explorations of themselves. Some of the fledglings get to moving right away, though their wings are still far too new to allow flight. Some are falling over themselves and tumbling about without any sense of direction. Castiel is one of them. He cannot, no matter how he tries, get himself to stay upright.

He sees Uriel take to movement immediately, slowly going in a circle, getting the feel for it. Balthazar is up after a few tries and quickly grows confident in his movement. Not much further away Rachel is prancing about, moving like she had not just been brought into existence. Castiel tries to right himself once again, only to fall in a tangle of Grace and wings (much to Balthazar and Uriel’s amusement). Huffing in frustration Castiel makes one last attempt, pushes himself up with all his might and, for a moment, he is upright. It doesn’t last long and he begins to wobble and become unsteady.

Someone grabs him, though, and sets him right. A bright voice chimes behind him, “Try it like this.”

Annael is smiling down at him and helping him balance. She’s bright and warm and, though she is not much older than the rest of them she seems it. Castiel, somehow, knows that she was the first of their brood. She’s their elder sister and is to be listened to, but she is also one of them, young and new to Heaven. After she’s righted Castiel she goes to give help to the other struggling fledglings and before long they’re all darting about easily, the clumsiness of new life forgotten. Annael doesn’t leave once they are all stable. She stays with them, playing and laughing, the light of her Grace shining on all of them. They are already following her lead and helping their less steady brethren.

Another angel, older than Annael, finds them. His name is Zachariah and he makes some of the fledglings uneasy. There is nothing warm about him. He is sharp edges and fluid movements. He looks down at the group, disapproval obvious. He finds Annael, tells her to settle the brood down, _they_ are coming to meet them. Annael’s eyes go wide and she hurries to bring the young angels to order. Castiel and Uriel try to ask questions, but Zachariah snaps at them to listen and stop asking questions and just do as they are told. They quiet down and wait like the rest.

Once everyone is settled and quiet there is a single beat of silence before a blur of colors races past the flock. The blur dips and twists and dives right into the center of the fledglings’ group, nestling happily amongst them, laughing merrily the entire time. His name is Gabriel and he is powerful. He is joy and light, colors dance around him and there is a golden glow at his core. He has three sets of wings, large and gleaming. He is an archangel. Zachariah gives Gabriel a disapproving look but holds his tongue and Annael joins in the laughter that has erupted all around them.

The young angels are no longer quiet. They’ve gone to investigate the archangel and he welcomes the attention, all six wings spreading wide and high over them all. Castiel marvels at Gabriel’s easiness, somehow knowing it is an uncommon trait amongst his brothers. Rachel and Hester are chattering away at Annael, asking questions about Gabriel, though she doesn't know anymore than they do. Balthazar and Uriel are very close to Gabriel, jumping about and playing, their laughter ringing across the group.

Suddenly, everything is brighter, clear and sharp and bathed in a glorious, shining light. The young angels freeze, some even dart behind Gabriel for cover. They all know who has arrived. The remaining three archangels are awesome and great. Raphael is like seeing pure energy, it circles around him and sets him apart. He moves fast and is standing beside Gabriel in an instant. He watches the young fledglings with interest, unfazed by their uneasiness towards him. Castiel inches closer, comes to stop next to Uriel, who has crowded against Gabriel’s leg. Balthazar, though hiding behind Uriel and now Castiel as well, is looking up at Raphael, examining him curiously.

Michael and Lucifer kept their distance. They stand apart and watch the new angels examine Raphael, some glancing curiously up at Michael and Lucifer, but not daring to go near them. Castiel notices how close the pair of archangels stand, wings touching, Grace tangling casually together. He knows, right then, that it will be very rare to see one without the other.

“Little aren’t they?” Lucifer says, eyes sweeping the group as a whole.

Michael nods and smiles. “They’ll grow. Father said they are the last.”

Lucifer moves closer to the brood, curious now. “You don’t say.”

Michael follows Lucifer as he moves closer to the fledglings and they scatter, keeping their distance. Lucifer frowns at the skittish angels, looking almost hurt. He stops in front of Gabriel and Raphael and bends low to look at the small group of fledglings still gathered around his brothers. Most of the fledglings had moved away, the shadow of Gabriel’s wings no longer deemed safe with other angels around, those that remain stare wide-eyed up at the Lightbringer.

Gabriel laughs and shifts to expose the brave few who stayed. Gently shaking Uriel lose from where he was clinging to him he says, “Lucifer, you’re scaring them.”

“If they were scared they’d run away,” he replies and Castiel can tell he only wants to know them. However intimidating Lucifer and the other archangels are they are still his brothers, they are all still family. He glances over at the few broodmates of his that stayed. Annael and Rachel are pressed together, sandwiched between Raphael and Gabriel. Balthazar is peeking over Castiel’s wings, watching Lucifer with interest while Uriel stays as close as he can to Gabriel. Hester and Inias are on the far side of Raphael and are quietly watching the exchange between the archangels.

Steeling himself Castiel moves towards Lucifer. He is unsure and very intimidated by Lucifer but he is curious above all else. He moves close to Lucifer and everyone stills nervously, he even feels Balthazar try to hold him back, but he ignores his brother. With only a few steps he is in front of the archangel. He stops there, though, unsure of his boundaries. He hears Gabriel chuckle, amused for a reason Castiel doesn’t know. Castiel looks over at his broodmates. Annael has moved forward a little, too, Rachel now behind her, looking on in amazement. Uriel and Balthazar look torn between impressed and fearful and Hester and Inias have come out from behind Raphael, though still pressed close and looking unsure.

Castiel faces Lucifer again. “Hello.”

Lucifer smiles at him, a hand comes and rests atop his head. “Hello, little Castiel.”

After that the rest of them get a bit closer. Annael stands beside Castiel, offers Lucifer and Michael a soft greeting. Gabriel, along with Balthazar and Uriel, is back to playing with the rest of the fledglings, the sounds of their laughter echoes everywhere. Raphael stays nearby, he speaks with a few of Castiel’s broodmates, makes them smile and causes their Graces to light up with joy. Castiel is happy and joins his broodmates and cannot wait to see more and learn everything.

\---

As time goes by Castiel does, indeed, learn. He learns that flying is not something you should try until your wings are ready, despite what Balthazar and Rachel might try to otherwise convince you. He learns Annael’s patience is not to be tested (mostly because she rarely has any thanks to Uriel and Balthazar’s antics) even though she is kind and tries to be understanding. He learns that Zachariah rarely smiles and if he does it is never a good thing, because someone is definitely in trouble. Hester has a temper and Inias is the only one who can ever calm her down. Castiel is told that their brood is the last to be created by God, making them forever Heaven’s youngest angels.

Castiel finds a great love for both the library and the garden. Joshua is a kind angel and always takes the time to answer Castiel’s questions. He is knowledgeable and welcomes anyone seeking answers. He even gives Castiel lessons on managing the energies, though Castiel isn’t very good at it right away. Joshua never gets mad and before long Castiel is able to untangle threads of light and can use his Grace to help them grow.

He wrestles with his broodmates and he can best all but a few. Uriel is big and strong and usually gets Castiel pinned easily if he can catch him, but Castiel is fast and he never makes it easy for Uriel. Annael is slippery and he can never hold her down. Inias doesn’t like play fighting and normally either cheers them on or keeps track of the winners. Gabriel sometimes even joins in, letting several of them gang up on him as he easily lifts them and whirls them around. Once, Michael and Lucifer watched them wrestle and Castiel overheard their conversation.

“Feisty bunch.”

“I like them.”

“You would like them, Lucifer.”

“Haha, you don’t? They’ll be great warriors one day.”

“And you know this?”

“Look at them. They’re brave and stubborn and crafty. Have you seen the two that follow Gabriel around?”

“The last thing we need is another Gabriel.”

Castiel doesn’t hear anymore because Hester and Rachel tackle him and are both trying to subdue him. He puts up a valiant fight until backup arrives in the form of Annael. Rolling around and laughing Castiel is happy. He loves his family and he loves the father that watches over them.

Zachariah’s told them that soon they will learn to fight. They will be warriors of God and protectors of Heaven. They are excited. They’ve watched the older angels train, seen them practice with each other and learn to wield swords and deal blows. Castiel’s broodmates copy their movements from the sidelines. They stage their own mock battles and pick up tactics. Watching to learn what works and what doesn’t. Hester points out the flaws in stances and maneuvers and her and Castiel make up ways to make them work better. They start to learn how to fight before they are ever taught.

They never hear Michael’s impressed words or see Lucifer’s Grace burn with pride. Raphael subtly encourages them by telling them when the older angels are training and where they will be. Gabriel always corrects their form, keeps them on alert by playing tricks on them all the time. The archangels are excited to see what their youngest brood can do. They show promise in many things.


	3. Missing Scenes - Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scenes involving Bobby and Ellen during the Christmas Season (HBA chapters 6-7).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Poke.
> 
> I needed some Bobby/Ellen in my life. And the xmas season just pased us by so I indulged (I was totally supposed to have this up in time but I suck). So, please enjoy a couple of missing scenes taking place during HBA chapters 6 and 7.

Christmas hadn’t been a big production for either of them for years. Bobby hadn’t really celebrated it since Karen died, save the two or three times he’d had Sam and Dean with him near the holiday while John was out on his personal crusade and that was always very low key. Ellen and Jo had always exchanged gifts, before and after Bill had been killed. It had never been a big deal, but it was always something they did. 

This year, however, they had a house full of family and a tree and everyone seemed so excited that Ellen and Bobby couldn’t help but get swept up in it all too. Sam and Jo were the most excited, the pair of them acting like over grown five year olds and shooting ideas back and forth to each other under their breaths and over the phone once the boys left on their hunt. Ellen and Bobby happily helped Jo set up everything they needed and it was all going perfectly.

Jo got a call from Sam telling them that the boys were on their way back. That seemed to be the signal to go and pick out a tree and, after a single once over with the puppy eyes from Jo, Bobby agreed to go along with them to pick one out. 

The three of them loaded into Bobby’s old pick-up truck and headed into town. They found a Christmas tree sales venue and pulled over. Strings of lights were hung over head, illuminating the rows of trees in soft light. Whoever was running the place had made a valiant effort to shovel away most of the snow, there were small, messy piles littering the border of the area. People milled about looking for their perfect tree – couples held hands and spoke in hushed voices to each other, parents followed their excited youngsters from tree to tree until they were happy, teenagers either sulked on the outskirts of everything or were dutifully helping their parents keep track of the smaller children. 

Jo darted off after a few minutes of wandering around, caught up in her own excitement. She’d been practically bouncing with energy on the ride over and, now that Bobby was safely on the ground in his wheelchair, she could no longer hold herself back. Ellen watched her go, smiling and keeping one hand on the handle of Bobby’s wheelchair.

“Nice to see her acting like a proper kid, isn’t it?” Bobby said, looking up at Ellen from under his trucker hat. 

“She in her twenties, Bobby,” Ellen responded. She looked back at Jo who was standing between a pair of trees already, sizing them up. “But yeah, it is nice.”

The lines of her face softened as she watched her daughter pop about the place, examining what seemed like every tree. Ellen wheeled Bobby down the rows of trees, neither of them were really looking at the trees, trusting Jo to find one that would do. Instead, they enjoyed the quiet company of the other, each a comforting presence at their side. And, if Ellen’s hands wound up on Bobby’s shoulders more often than the handles of his chair, well, he never said anything.

\---

Bobby had called Sam and told him they had found a tree and everything was ready to go for when they got back. Jo and Ellen were finishing up with getting the tree into the stand when he made his way back into the living room. While it was mostly Jo and Sam plotting their family Christmas now, it had been Ellen who had originally pushed for it in the first place. They originally shown up because of the apocalypse hanging over them but with it obviously on hold it seemed like a good time to bring her mismatched family together. Once it had taken hold of the two younger hunters, though, she’d handed over the reins and stood back. 

Even bare and more than a bit small (it being so late in the season and them not having too much cash Jo had had to settle for a less impressive tree), seeing a tree in the living room was quite a sight to Bobby. It had been such a long time since he had even thought to bother with decorations. Not even when he’d had Sam and Dean over as children did he consider putting up a tree or hanging tinsel. When Karen had died he’d locked all of that up – the memories and the items – and had left them to collect dust. That had been a long time ago, however, and he had begun moving on. He’d found himself another family and, as mismatched as they might have been, he cared about them deeply.

He had Sam and Dean, had always had them since the first time John had entrusted them to him. They were the sons he never let himself want, too afraid of becoming his old man. They’d grown up well, though, good and strong men, no matter how battered and worn they might be at times. They were so good they had literal angels on their shoulders now. Bobby had Jo, the spunky firecracker he’d imagine any daughter of his would have been. He knew her headstrong nature drove her mother up the wall with worry but he couldn’t help but be glad for it, it made her reliable and a damn fine hunter. She was just as strong as the boys, if not stronger for her youth and the faith that came with it. Tough as nails, too, just like her mother.

Then there was Ellen. They’d been friends when her husband was still alive. Bobby had liked Bill and had been close to him, too. They’d all been like family once, happy as a group of hunters could be. He’d been hurt deeply when he’d learned that Bill had died while on a hunt with John, he’d even been angry with John for being such a fool. They’d all eventually moved on, some quicker than others. Bobby had stayed close with Ellen, unlike John, he kept in contact and often made visits. As the sting of Bill’s death dulled Bobby found himself growing even closer to Ellen. He had always held back, though, in respect of his fallen friend and his late wife.

It wasn’t until a few years ago, when everything started going to hell (literally) that Ellen had, in her own words, “had it up to here with his pussyfooting around her” and had laid out, in no uncertain terms, that they had something going on between them. Since then they had been a slowly building a relationship, but they were happy with it that way. When Bobby had been confined to the wheelchair he’d been ready to give up on him and Ellen, sure she’d rather find a more capable partner, but she had made it clear it didn’t matter and they had continued on their merry way.

Once the tree was secured they came to stand beside him and view their handiwork. “So, Bobby, what do you think?” Jo asked, hip nudging him playfully. She had taken his and Ellen’s relationship in stride, surprising the both of them. She was happy for her mother and Bobby and it meant a lot. 

“Needs some lights and ornaments if I’m not mistaken,” he smiled up at her. “I think I’ve got some tucked away somewhere around here if you wanna go looking.”

Bobby had long forgotten where he’d hidden the old boxes of decorations. He knew he hadn’t thrown them out – too much a sentimental old fool even then. He hadn’t looked at them since Karen’s death, not wanting to relive the pain of his memories. He figured, now though, the ghosts would be long gone and the old decorations would be just that, decorations, ready and waiting for new, happier memories. Jo wandered off, saying something about making Sam help her when he got home.

Ellen leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of Bobby’s head, through his cap. “Come on, Bobby,” she chided. “Quit your moping. It’s Christmas, you’ve got your family here, and the world’s not ending. You got plenty to smile about.”

He couldn’t help the low rumble of laughter that worked its way through him. She was right. There was no sense getting lost in the past when the future looked bright for the first time in a long time. Chuckling, he tilted his head back and melted into Ellen’s happily given kiss.

\---

As expected Dean had stormed off in a huff once he’d realized what they had had going on, griping and cussing about Christmas. They let him go, better to let the boy work off some steam before trying to reason with him. He was just so like John sometimes it was eerie. Ellen had planned on giving him the day, let him sulk and see if he’d come around on his own, but Castiel had gone off to find him once the tree had been decorated. Ellen didn’t know what the fight was about exactly, but both human and angel had raised their voices after a while. When the shouting cut off suddenly Ellen assumed Castiel had finally given up and flown off.

She had half a mind to make Dean apologize to Castiel, the poor guy had only been trying to help. She knew it wouldn’t do anyone any good, though, and left Dean to sulk out in the garage. He’d come around before too long, she was sure of it. She would have gone and spoken with Castiel, but she had no idea where he’d flown off to. Lucifer seemed to know, though, as he vanished not long after the fighting had stopped. She left the pair of angels to themselves as she went to help Sam and Jo spruce up the rest of the house.

Ellen wasn’t surprised in the least when Dean refused to speak to anyone for the rest of the day. He stayed in the garage or out in the yard and away from everyone until after dinner, when he headed up to his room without a word. Once everyone else had wandered off Ellen made her way into the study with Bobby. He’d set up a small bed in the corner, low enough to the ground that he could get in and out of it on his own without much trouble. She hated seeing him like that, wounded and crippled, but she never said anything about it. She knew her words wouldn’t do anything to help, so why bother with them? Instead, she took a seat next to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek in way of a greeting.

“Well, this whole affair is going better than I expected. I was sure Dean would have tried to make a move on the tree by now,” she mused, idly flipping through one of the books. 

Bobby snorted, marking his page and turning his head to look at Ellen. “He knows damn well that Jo and Sam would rip him apart if he so much as looked at that tree the wrong way. Boy just needs time to get over himself.”

Ellen smiled. “Ain’t that the truth.” When Bobby didn’t say anything for a few minutes Ellen wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “It’ll be fine, Bobby. You know just as well as I do that he’ll come around. Dean’s just a big softie on the inside, we both know that. Just let Sam and Castiel work on him and before you know it he’ll be happy as the rest of them.”

She knew Bobby worried about the boys, more than he really needed to. She couldn’t rightly fault him for it, though. She worried about Jo to the point of smothering her, but that’s what parents did and, whether Bobby admitted to it or not, he was a father to those boys. Standing, she nabbed Bobby’s cap and placed a kiss on top of his head. “Get some sleep. Hunting doesn’t quit just because there’s snow on the ground.”

The next morning Jo and the angels stole Ellen’s car to go shopping. Not long after that Sam dragged Dean out with him. Ellen might have been a little smug when she said to Bobby “I told you so.”

\---

Christmas Eve had Bobby and Ellen in the kitchen frying up burgers for dinner. The mood in the house was light and cheery and it was infectious, even Dean had eventually come around and was taking part in the fun. In the living room the angels were getting a crash course on holiday cartoons and by the sounds of it everyone was enjoying the lesson. Every now and then they’d catch a snippet of the movie followed by some conversation and laugh. 

She scooped out the last few burgers onto their buns as Bobby finished with setting out the plates and chips. It was a quick dinner, nothing healthy about it, but it was food and the bottomless pits out in the living room would be happy for it all the same. She made her way out into the living room and spotted Sam and Lucifer arranging a small pile of presents under the tree. “What’s this?” she asked, eyebrow raised. She waited for the sheepish grins to turn a little nervous before continuing “I guess it is about time we put everything under the tree.” 

Hands on her hips she looked at the room as a whole. “Well come on and get dinner, don’t’cha know that you’re supposed to go to bed early on Christmas eve so the morning comes faster?”

“But sleeping does not make time move faster, it just feels strange,” was Castiel’s confused reply. Coming from anyone else Ellen might have seen it as back talking, but Castiel was still getting used to the whole being human business, so she let it go. There was some more banter, mostly Dean and Jo trying to explain sleeping to Castiel, as they all took their seats at the table.

Dinner was a loud and slightly chaotic affair, but it was filled with laughter and smiles and Ellen just couldn’t find it in herself to tell them all to settle down. Though, Bobby did once Dean nearly knocked his cup off the table for the third time.

After another Christmas movie and some eggnog (not spiked, everyone was wild enough without he alcohol in Ellen’s opinion) everyone drifted off to bed. Dean was the only one still awake when Ellen finally made her way to her borrowed bedroom.

In hindsight, she should have known better than to leave that little troublemaker alone.

They woke up to a snow covered house and mistletoe strung up all over – in corners, by doorways, everywhere Dean could find to stick it. She had half a mind to take it all down, but, after thinking about it for a moment she decided it was a fun idea and she wanted to see if Dean would get bit in the ass by his own horsing around. In an effort to save herself she took mental note of all the bundles she could see.

Her mental notes didn’t help her much though, she wound up caught under it with both Jo and Sam before too long. She was just glad that it hadn’t been only her getting caught as everyone else got their turn at vague embarrassment as well. 

Dinner wasn’t much of a big deal that night. Ellen whipped up some pasta and meatballs, popping a pre-made loaf of garlic bread into the oven as well. The meal was simple enough that she could help Bobby with the phones and still keep anything from burning. 

It was half way through making dinner when Ellen noticed that Dean had managed to get a bundle of mistletoe into Bobby’s study as well. The old hunter apparently hadn’t noticed it yet though, and was blissfully unaware. Grinning and feeling a bit mischievous, she made a point to kiss Bobby every time he passed under the mistletoe, which just so happened to be every time he answered or hung up the phones. 

It took him three calls, six kisses, to start giving Ellen odd looks. It took two more calls, four kisses, for him to ask. Ellen response was to roll her eyes and point at the ceiling. The face Bobby made once he realized what was going on was worth having to take down the mistletoe bundle. It wasn’t like she needed an excuse to make Bobby get all flustered with her affection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 99% sure the "missing scenes" are also gonna be a thing for us. Blue's got a few planned herself, too.


	4. Sorry Not Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are no regrets.
> 
>    
>  **WARNINGS for this Chapter only: Major character death, emotional manipulation, extreme anxiety all in a dream setting.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was our April Fool's joke for those of you who have been around for a while. We've removed it from the actual HBA story as to avoid any confusion and unwarranted heartbreak. It will forever reside here, in HBD for your viewing pleasure.
> 
> Please note: This dream DOES HAPPEN IN HBA CANON! In the real chapter 14 (which will be marked as 15 in the HBA chapter index) Sam has a nightmare. This is the nightmare he has. So if you're curious as to why he acts the way he does, this is why.

It took three days before Balthazar and Lucifer gave the all clear for them to get moving. During that time Bobby had managed to get a hold of an old contact of his from way back. He’d explained that they needed information on summonings and he’d put them in contact with someone Bobby had referred to as an archivist of sorts. It was a woman who lived down in Georgia whose husband had been from a family of hunters. She’d apparently inherited the archives of the family and was a go-to for hard to find information.

Sam came down the stairs, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “If she’s got so much information why don’t we call her more often?” It was a question that had been bothering him ever since Bobby had told them about Mrs. McCoy.

Bobby settled him with a dark look. “She ain’t exactly the friendliest of folks,” he said. “I told Dean what I’m gonna tell you; she’s paranoid and violent. She’s got a lot of tricks so you’re gonna have to step lightly with her. Soon as she knows who you are, though, she’ll be happy to help.”

Sam nodded and made his way outside. It made sense that she’d be a bit off her rocker. Sam had met some older hunters and not one of them had been all there, it was just a side effect of the life. Hell, in their late twenties Sam wasn’t even sure if he and Dean qualified as completely sane themselves. He would have to make sure Dean and Lucifer both minded their manners. They needed this woman’s help.

They were on the road before noon. The sky was bright and cloudless as they sped down the highway, Dean and Sam up front with the angels behind them. Dean had the radio turned up and was belting along to each and every song, Sam joining in on his favorites. In the back seat Castiel and Lucifer watched the brothers with a mix of amusement and mild confusion and, if Sam wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn he saw both angels lip synching to “Stairway to Heaven” when it came on.

It was strange, everyone being in such good moods, but they deserved it. Things were actually looking up and hope was shining nearly as bright as the sun above for the first time in ages.

It was going to take two days to reach Mrs. McCoy’s house no matter how they sliced it. So when Dean took an exit leading to a town with a bar and a motel no one said anything. Dean pulled into the parking lot of the first neon signed hole in the wall bar they saw and parked the Impala a safe distance away from the rest of the cars, forever worried about the car’s safety. 

As they headed inside Dean turned to smirk at the group. “You guys ready to make some money?”

It turned out that not only did the bar have pool tables for Sam and Dean to work but there was also a poker game going on for Castiel to join. Lucifer joined in on a few of the pool games, scoring just well enough to pass it off as luck and playing the part well. For the most part, though, he would sit at the bar and nurse a beer while he kept a close eye on Sam, who could feel the archangel’s watchful gaze no matter where he was in the bar.

Lucifer’s penchant for watching over Sam had slowly gone from being unsettling to comforting. At first Sam hadn’t known what to make of the shift, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t understand it now. He was self-aware enough to understand that he was just the slightest bit in love with Lucifer. That, in and of itself, wasn’t the problem. The trouble was around what he was going to do about his feelings for Lucifer.

He couldn’t just walk up and tell Lucifer he was in love with him, Sam had a feeling that would not go over well. Whether because Lucifer simply wouldn’t understand or whether he’d be offended Sam couldn’t say, but he knew better than to bring it up without prompting. Lucifer wasn’t human, a fact that became more and more obvious as he spent more time with them and especially as he regained his angelic abilities. It was doing nothing to dissuade Sam’s emotional interest at all. At least, not anymore. 

Lucifer watched over Sam constantly. Even when Sam could not see him, it felt like Lucifer was there making sure nothing bad could happened. Lucifer was constantly in his space most of the time, pressing up against him or standing nearby any time he was around. He slept next to Sam nearly every night, even now that he didn’t actually need to sleep. If he were human, Sam would have assumed that he felt something back. He didn’t really know what angelic boundaries were like, they didn’t even have bodies in heaven, who knew what they really thought about personal space. Castiel had certainly had trouble understanding it, still did even. 

Sam didn’t know what to do about it. He had no real way to gauge Lucifer’s interest in him or whether or not feelings translated from human to angelic and back. It seemed like Lucifer cared about Sam now, and not just as a vessel, but how was he supposed to judge. Sam would just need to keep watching. Maybe if he kept an eye out for how Lucifer reacted he would be able to convince himself to act on his feelings. All the protectiveness couldn’t be for nothing right? Lucifer was not nearly as protective of anyone else. Sam had hope that perhaps his feelings were returned after all.

By the time they pulled into Mrs. McCoy’s driveway it was midafternoon and the sun was beginning to cast long shadows across the roads. The house they pulled up to was large and old looking. The yard was unkempt and paint was peeling off the sides of the house. Through the ivy creeping up the sides of the house they could see protective sigils spray painted on to the house. Dean cut the engine at the end of the drive way and did as Bobby suggested. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number Bobby had given them. 

“Hello? Mrs. McCoy?” Dean asked. “Hi, I’m Dean Winchester I was- no. What? No! Oh come on! No no- Bobby! Bobby Sin- I am not a demon! Stop trying to exorcise me!”

Seeing that Dean had already lost control of the conversation Sam grabbed the phone out of his hands. As he pressed it up against his ear he caught the last few verses of the exorcism. “Ma’am? Hello?”

“Who’s this? If yer anothah demon I be hangin’ up this phone right now!” Her voice was thick with a southern accent. 

Keeping his voice pleasant and respectful Sam said “No ma’am, we’re friends of Bobby Singer. He should have called you and told you we were coming. We’re the guys looking for the angel summoning information.”

There was a beat of silence before she continued. “Those Winchester boys?”

“Yeah, Sam and Dean Winchester. We’ve got two friends with us, too.” Sam figured it was best to be as up front with Mrs. McCoy as he could be. Any surprises might turn the whole situation sour.

“Ahh, right! Well come on in, boys!” her voice had gone from low and gravelly to honey sweet and bright. “Right through that front door, I’m just fixin’ some supper.” With that the line went dead and Sam handed the phone back to Dean. 

“Well?” Lucifer asked, leaning over the seat to poke his head between the two brothers. “Is she going to help us?”

“Yeah, she said we could head inside.” They piled out of the car and headed up to the rickety front porch. Sam knocked twice, wanting to be cautious, even though she’d said they could just walk in. After a moment he pushed the door open and stepped inside, the others following suit.

The interior of the house was completely different that the outside. Aside from being well kept it was inviting. The front room was large and warm. A fire crackled merrily in a hearth on the far side of the room. The walls were covered in bookshelves lined up side by side, only the few inches of empty space above them showing off the faded (and frankly, ugly) wallpaper. Where there weren’t bookshelves covering the walls, there were maps marked up with crisscrossing lines and big red dots or illustrations of weapons and sigils. There was a threadbare couch and an armchair that looked like it might have been very comfortable in its glory days in front of the fireplace. Off to the left was an archway leading into what looked like a kitchen and dining room.

“Hello?” Sam called, peering into the kitchen. “Mrs. McCoy?”

“You must be Sam!” A short, older woman came bustling into Sam’s line of sight. At first glance she was the stereotypical grandmother type; frilly, stained apron, rosy cheeks, white hair piled atop her head in a tasteful bun, but as she drew closer Sam noticed the scars on her face, obviously old, the slight limp she walked with, and the hand gun tucked into the holster that was secured around her waist. She was the most amazing contradiction that Sam had ever seen.

“That’s me. This is Dean, Castiel, and-”

“Yes yes, Bobby told me all about y’all.” She stopped in front of them and took a long, hard look at each in turn. “Well, I’ll be. Real, true to life angels of the Lord God Almighty Himself. Why I would have never, in all my years in the life, guessed such a thing.”

“If you never believed angels to be real,” Lucifer started, “then you must not have information on us.” Sam looked over at him and saw Lucifer visibly deflate. He’d given up so easily? Sure, this whole ordeal wasn’t going to be easy, but there was no other choice, they had to keep going, keep looking. 

Mrs. McCoy spoke up before Sam had the chance to say anything, “Oh sugar, don’t you fret. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some angel tidbits buried in these old books. Lemme just set this to simmer…”

They followed her back though the living room and into the back of the house where a table, a desk, and a few stools sat, dusty and probably unused for years. Mrs. McCoy gestured for them to take as seat as she scanned the single, rickety book shelf in the room. After a minute or two she made a triumphant sound and turned to face them holding an extremely large, very old book. She laid it out on the table and began paging through it, muttering to herself. 

Sam leaned over her, reading the pages over her shoulder as best he could. He was endlessly curious about what kind of information was stored here. The pages of the book they were looking through seemed to be a sort of index, large, bolded words stood out as smaller, nimbler text was scrawled all over the page crisscrossed with arrows and lines. Sam wanted to take the book and go through it, page by page. Bobby’s collection of information was nothing to scoff at, it was downright impressive, and his practical knowledge was invaluable, most of it learned in the field, thought of in the heat of a hunt, but it still paled to compare to the vast library of information and reference the McCoy’s’ had. The names of monsters, titles of books, and purposes of spells flipped by him. There was so very much there to learn.

She stopped at a page a little over half way through the book. Near the bottom of the page was the bolded word “Angels” and below it only a few lines of text, mostly titles of books and versions of The Bible. “These are all of the references we have to angels,” Mrs. McCoy announced. “Most of them are biblical accounts, but it looks like there are a few mentions in possession and summoning.”

Lucifer leaned forward and scanned the page. “We’ll need all of these,” he demanded.

“Now you listen here, son,” Mrs. McCoy snapped, batting at Lucifer’s outstretched hand. “Y’all are gonna need to learn some manners, ya hear?”

Lucifer’s posture stiffened and he got the same uneasy look he had worn around Ellen in his eyes before nodding curtly and managing a flat “Yes ma’am.” Sam only just managed to not chuckle.

They ignored the Bibles as each copy listed was already owned by Bobby or themselves. They managed to find the other five books and settle themselves in the living room, Sam and Dean on the couch, each with a book in their lap, the angels on the floor, the last three books open between them. Castiel and Lucifer, though both still fairly lacking in their angelic abilities, were still capable of reading much faster than Sam and Dean. They flipped through pages and cross checked in patterns and speeds that Sam didn’t bother to try and keep up with. 

While they had been searching for the books in the seemingly endless expanse of bookshelves, Mrs. McCoy had finished what she’d been cooking and had doled out servings to everyone. It turned out to be really delicious beef stew that even Castiel ate without mentioning how he didn’t need to eat (and Sam tried not to think about the fact that one day soon, Castiel might just actually need to eat). The fire crackled merrily in the hearth and pages turned as they worked through the last few references available.

It was just after eleven at night when Lucifer exclaimed “This is it!”

Instantly, everyone was on full alert, the drowsy funk lifted with Lucifer’s excitement. He lifted one of the books he and Castiel had been reading through. He began reading aloud about a hidden tablet covered in unreadable hieroglyphs thought to pre-date ancient Egypt and where it was currently being held. 

“Okay, great,” Dean said, peering over Lucifer’s shoulder for a look at the text. “But it’s in some storage room in the Smithsonian. How exactly are we gonna get in there?”

Lucifer settled Dean with a look that plainly said he thought the hunter was dense. “Castiel and I still have some of our abilities. We should be able to easily get into the storage room and collect the tablet. It’s covered in spells from before my fall. There’s a spell to create a temporary vessel to house an angel,” he explained. “I can use that to make a body for Michael that should last long enough for us to be able to speak with each other.”

Sam came around Lucifer’s other side, pressing his arm against Lucifer’s. “Wow, really?” It was an amazing thing for them to find. If it worked like they hoped it would then they’d be able to get Michael on Earth long enough for him and Lucifer to talk and hopefully settle their differences without a body count.

Mrs. McCoy offered them a night on her sofa, which turned out to have a pull out mattress in it, before they hit the road towards the Smithsonian. Thankful to have a free place to rest their heads they accepted. The angels opted to remain awake while Sam and Dean took the lumpy mattress and caught a few hours of rest. 

They headed out early that morning, just as Mrs. McCoy was waking up. While they had slept Castiel and Lucifer had written out several sheets worth of information that they had noticed she’d been lacking as thanks. After making sure they hadn’t disturbed any of the protections on her house they climbed into the Impala and Dean pulled out and headed north, towards D.C.

\---

While Sam was glad that they finally had a lead, the effect it had on the mood in the car was less than desirable. Dean, while by no means in a foul mood, was tense, the ease of the last car ride gone in anticipation of the job. Castiel was silent now, lost in thought where he been happily participating in conversation before. Lucifer was the worst, though. He was impatient and moody, slouching down in the back seat and digging his knees into Sam’s back, and, while he understood how emotionally taxing this whole ordeal was, Sam still didn’t appreciate Lucifer’s lack of self-control. By the time they arrived in D.C. Sam was amazed that Lucifer hadn’t flown off to find the tablet himself. 

Once they’d gotten into the area they made quick work of getting their hands on a map of the Smithsonian and locating the storage rooms within. The only thing they needed to do was figure out which one held the tablet they were looking for. Seeing as Sam and Dean wouldn’t be much help in locating or acquiring the tablet they opted to sightsee. Staying in the museum district they walked around outside enjoying the sights.

Well, at least Sam was. Dean had taken to going between whining like a child about how boring the capitol was and worrying about the angels. Sam shared his brother’s concern, but there was nothing they could do. Lucifer and Castiel knew to stay out of sight and to be careful. They were thousands, if not millions, of years old, Sam felt safe in assuming that they could handle against some museum storage security if the need arose.

They did their best to stay away from any kind of authoritative looking people and buildings, remembering all too well when their faces had been plastered all over the news as wanted criminals. As far as Sam knew they were still believed to be dead, but he would rather not leave anything to chance on this job if he could help it. The last thing they needed was to be noticed and forced to run out of town to avoid arrest while trying to steal an ancient tablet from one of the local museums.

So, of course, that’s exactly what happened. 

Sam had no idea why there were several FBI agents standing on the street corner or why their attention had focused on Sam and Dean (if he had to guess he’d say it was the Impala, which always managed to turn a few heads wherever they went), but one of them recognized Sam and Dean and when they failed to brush it all off as a case of mistaken identity things got hairy. The agents had moved to cuff Sam and Dean, who both agreed to go without a fight, planning on making an angelic escape later when a voice called out, concerned and angry.

“Hey! What are you doing? Sam!”

It was followed by another voice, both recognizable through their worry. “Dean!”

Castiel and Lucifer were both running towards them, clearly distressed by what was going on. Silently, Sam cursed their luck. If the angels had been a half hour earlier or later everything would have been fine. “Guys, don’t worry,” he said, trying to sound calm. “It’s just a mix up, we’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, voice cocky and assured in that defensive way he had. “No big deal, just gonna have a little chat with the FBI.”

Their words didn’t seem to help calm down either angels. Lucifer moved towards the agent holding Sam’s hands behind his back. Without missing a beat another agent pulled out his gun, pointing it right at Lucifer’s chest. “Step away, nice and slow.”

Sam watched as Lucifer sized up the gun. He knew what was going on in the archangel’s mind; he was trying to determine if a shot to the chest would be enough to kill him, now that he had more of his Grace back. Sam hoped he would decide that he wasn’t strong enough, partly because it’d be more hassle than any of them needed if Lucifer got shot while trying to rescue Sam and Dean and then failed to die because of it and partly because Sam didn’t want to see Lucifer hurt. He refused to think about what it might mean if Lucifer’s judgment were wrong and he wasn’t as strong as he thought.

He knew the second Lucifer made his decision. 

He lurched the few feet forward and grabbed Sam’s arm. As the sound of gun shots rang out Sam felt the world and air around him shift unpleasantly before the ground was solid once more beneath his feet and he stumbled into Lucifer. A quick glance around told Sam that they were far outside of the capitol, somewhere in the middle of the woods, hidden by bushes and tightly packed trees.

Lucifer was leaning on Sam’s now stable figure. “Sorry, Sam,” he said, voice level and not as worn as Sam thought it would be. “I couldn’t get us far, and Castiel had to take Dean, but we should be safe now.”

Sam’s first thought was to tell Lucifer how bad of an idea that had been. They’d vanished right out of the hands of the FBI, who knew what kind of mess that had left? Not to mention the danger the stunt would have put everyone – innocent bystanders, the agents, Lucifer- in by causing such a ruckus. However, it all drained out of him once he felt Lucifer’s hand still clutching his arm and the look of relief that they were okay on Lucifer’s face. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said, his hand finding its way to Lucifer’s shoulder. “If you guys had waited you could have snuck in and gotten us out of jail later. You could have gotten hurt, Luce.”

“I’m strong enough that normal bullets won’t kill me anymore, Sam.” He looked up at the hunter, defiance shining bright in his eyes, a fire Sam hadn’t seen in him before. “And I didn’t know what they were going to do with you, I had to do something.”

Sam sighed and gave Lucifer a small smile. It was nice to hear that the other was worried about him. It wasn’t something he was used to being on the receiving end of from anyone other than Dean and occasionally Bobby. “Thanks,” he said, his voice low. 

The kindness and concern Lucifer showed him went right to his heart. If Sam was honest with himself, and he’d been trying very hard not to be, he’d known he was in love with Lucifer for awhile now. He had tried not to fall for him, tried to keep the angel at a distance, but nothing had worked. It didn’t matter that Lucifer was the devil, that he wasn’t human. Sam was in love and that left him with only one thing to do.

Before he could talk himself out of it he leaned forward, his hand sliding up to cup the side of Lucifer’s face, and kissed him. It was a simple, light press of lips, it lasted no more than a few seconds. When Sam pulled back Lucifer didn’t seem mad or upset, slightly bewildered, but not opposed. 

When Lucifer didn’t move or say anything Sam tried to explain himself. “I uh-”

The sound of wings behind him had him quickly shutting up though. This conversation needed to happen in private. 

Dean and Castiel stood behind Sam, both looking more than a little ruffled. “There you two are! You two couldn’t have decided on a specific spot to fly to?” Dean walked towards them, oblivious in his irritation to how close Sam and Lucifer had been standing. “And Cas said you don’t have the tablet?”

Sam looked over at Lucifer, startled. “Not on my person, no,” he said. “It’s in the Impala.”

“Why is it in the Impala?”

“Because Castiel and I needed to rescue you two,” Lucifer hissed. “Why were they ever bothering you? I thought you were going to keep a low profile, as you said.”

With a sigh Sam explained. “We’ve gotten into trouble on hunts before. Those were FBI agents who think we’re murderers. To a lot of law enforcement people, we’re the bad guys.”

Lucifer was visibly bothered by this. “But you save lives. You protect them. How can they think you’re wrong?”

Sam shrugged. It was a variant of the questions he often asked himself. “They don’t know the things we kill are monsters. To them, we’re just killing random people, humans. We’re destroying property and digging up graves for no reason. Most of what we do is technically against the law. It’s why we never use our real names.” Lucifer didn’t say anything else. He simply scoffed and turned away. 

“Let’s get a hotel,” Dean said. “Can you guys get us to one, or at least out of these woods?”

\---

Once they had checked into the room Castiel called for Balthazar and asked him to transport the Impala to them, which was a good idea as the FBI had impounded it and would have gone through it before long. A trunk full of strange and illegal weapons was not something they needed added to their rap sheet. While Castiel and Balthazar went to retrieve the car Dean made a run down the hall for some soda, leaving Sam and Lucifer alone.

He was unsure of how to break the silence and begin what was sure to be an awkward conversation, but Lucifer beat him to it. “You know I’m not human, right?”

“What?” the strange lead in had Sam off guard. 

“I only occupy a human vessel. I’m not a human, Sam, nothing about me is even close to human.” His voice was low and he was looking out the window rather than at Sam.

“Yeah, I know.” What he didn’t know was where this conversation was going, but he didn’t like it one bit.

“That means,” Lucifer continued “that I don’t feel like humans do. I can’t love like one.”

Sam could feel his heart drop into his stomach. He knew it had been a bit of a long shot, but Lucifer had been so open about his thoughts and had gotten so close to him in the last few months. They’d had so many almost moments. He had been so sure…

“I’m an angel Sam.” All Sam could do was nod. His throat was tight and his heart was aching. He knew a rejection when he heard one. He would accept it and deal with it and move on. It wasn’t like he’d never done so before. 

When Dean returned with was with a coke and a smile. “Baby’s back!” he declared. He paused for a minute when he noticed Sam’s expression. He hadn’t had time to school his features and even then, he wasn’t sure if it would fool Dean. Thankfully, his brother opted to hold off on the talk Sam was sure would come. “Let’s go make sure everything’s still there, Sammy. Who knows what those feds did to her.”

Sam followed Dean out as Balthazar and Castiel made their way into the motel room, tablet in hand. Sam caught a look at the writing. It was unlike anything he’d ever seen before, complex and precise. He wished he could read it and thought that if he hadn’t made a move on Lucifer, the archangel would have been willing to teach him. They had at least been friends right? Or did angels not feel friendship like humans did either?

Dean and Sam gave the Impala a thorough once over, making sure everything was present and accounted for. Luckily for them, it looked like the FBI hadn’t had a chance to properly search the car and Sam was grateful for one less thing to worry about. They made to head inside when everything went to hell.

From the windows of the room a blinding light flashed, the type of light they’d learned to associate with the power of an angel. Panicked that Michael had lied to them they ran to the room, swinging the door open just in time to see Lucifer pulling his blade out of Balthazar’s chest, twin wings scorched into the wall on either side of him. Castiel lay on the floor, blood smeared across his clothing as he turned to see the brothers.

“RUN!”

Sam couldn’t move. He didn’t understand what was happening. Balthazar was dead, Castiel was struggling to stand, and the tablet was held in a bloody grip by Lucifer. Sam didn’t understand.

“Cas!” Dean was at Castiel’s side in seconds, trying to help him stand. “What the hell is going on here?”

Lucifer turned to face them, his face blank as he vanished away his blade. “I’m done. I was right this whole time about humans and I see that now.” He looked at Sam and sadness showed on his face for a brief moment. “I am sorry, Sam. I never wanted any of this. Especially not for you.”

He was gone before either brother could react.

\---

Dean patched Castiel up as Castiel told them what had happened. Lucifer had read over the tablet, the spells and recollections contained on it, and it had reminded him of the War and his Fall. Castiel said he and Balthazar had tried to calm him down, have him see reason once more, but Lucifer had refused and instead gotten more upset and told them they were delusional to think that humans were capable of anything special. When Balthazar had tried to reclaim the tablet Lucifer had slain him, that was when Sam and Dean had entered.

His eyes never left Balthazar’s wing marks, his fingers traced over each feather’s burnt outline gently as he spoke. Sam could see the pain there at the loss of his brother. Castiel had thought Balthazar dead for nearly a year, only to get him back and then truly lose him mere weeks later. Lucifer had managed to carve a sigil onto Castiel’s skin when Castiel had tried to help Balthazar earlier. Dean did his best to wrap it but Castiel told them it would never heal properly. It would scar and it would forever bind Castiel to his vessel and hold his Grace back. 

Castiel was essentially human now.

The first half of the trip back to Bobby’s was a blur. Sam was numb. He couldn’t believe this had happened. They’d all been growing so close, everything had finally been working out. A little voice in the back of Sam’s mind whispered _‘of course it wasn’t going to stay that way, it never does.’_ They’d called ahead, warned Bobby that Lucifer had switched sides. He’d told them Ellen and Jo were on their way, originally to share some good news with everyone, but now to help. Dean was silent, eyes dark and worried and mouth set in a thin line, Castiel dozed in the back seat, the events of the day taking everything out of him. Dean had the radio off, no one wishing to fill the silence with anything but the sounds of the Impala speeding down the highway, until it began to hiss static at them, waking Castiel and causing Dean to swerve and stop suddenly on the side of the road. 

“What have you done?”

Suddenly the seat that was normally occupied by Lucifer had Gabriel in it, divine wrath emanating from his small frame. His eyes were golden in the dark of the night and the smell of ozone was thick in the air. “I said _what have you done_?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean snapped from the front seat, twisting to face Gabriel. Sam was curious as well. They hadn’t seen Gabriel since their adventure in TV Land. 

“Why do I keep having to repeat myself for you chuckleheads? Balthazar is dead! What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Castiel sighed. His voice was hollow and tired. “Lucifer killed him.”

“Why?” And Gabriel actually sounded hurt by what Castiel was telling him. “I thought he had gotten over himself and changed his mind.”

“So did we,” Sam sighed. He hated everything that was happening. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. The whole world was falling apart faster than it had ever seemed to before and Sam couldn’t keep up anymore. He couldn’t even look at Gabriel properly.

Gabriel was quiet as he looked Sam over. It wasn’t the Trickster in the backseat looking at him, it was an archangel. “Great, so where are we going?”

Dean pulled back onto the road again and nearly floored the gas. “Bobby’s place. We need to get back there. The apocalypse is back on.”

“Alright then, boys. Click your heels and say there’s no place like home.” And with that and a snap of his fingers they were on the highway just outside of Sioux Falls. When they all gave him a questioning look he shrugged and said “Balth had said you guys were staying in this town. No idea where since you guys managed to actually ward everything properly, but here we go.”

“So, you and him were in contact this whole time?” Dean asked, heading off towards Bobby’s.

Leaning back in the seat Gabriel looked out the window as he spoke. “Well, yeah. Do you think he snuck away from heaven all on his own? He was one of my favorites and I’ve been keeping a close eye on everything since this ball started rolling. When he tried to get out I offered a hand.” He paused, face grim. 

“And now he’s gone,” Castiel added bitterly. Sam was sure there would have been some bite to his words if Castiel hadn’t been so drained. “Not that he’d be much better off in Heaven, anyway.”

The rest of the car ride was quiet, no one having the energy to speak idly. When they finally made it to Bobby’s, Jo ran outside, obviously worried and frantic. Sam heard her asking Dean if it was true, her voice thin and sad. Sam remembered how well she and Lucifer had gotten along the last time she’d been here. It took more effort than it should have for Sam to climb out of the car and face everyone. 

He didn’t know how he was going to deal with this. Everything had finally been going in the right direction, to suddenly have it all pulled out from under them was extremely disconcerting. For the first time in a long while they had allowed hope to grow, and now it had been smashed to pieces. Not to mention how now they had a more personal involvement due to Lucifer. There were happy memories between them all, Lucifer had been adopted into their mismatched family. Sam knew it wasn’t going to stop them, but it was going to make it all the more difficult to go up against him. Most of all for Sam, who had been dumb enough to develop feelings for him.

They all made their way inside and explained what had happened to everyone, skating over the unfortunate kiss in the woods. When they’d called Bobby they had only said something had gone wrong and Lucifer had switched sides, there hadn’t been any explanation, only a frantic warning. Once everything had been said Bobby wasted no time in getting them moving. He barked orders – change sigils, add protections, take stock of what they knew and what they could do – as he picked up the phone and started dialing numbers. Everyone moved to comply with the old hunter except for Gabriel, who stood in the center of the room, looking Bobby over.

“What happened to you?” he asked, making his way over as Bobby hung up the phone before dialing another number.

Bobby finished his phone call (which went unanswered) before responding. “Lost a fight with a demon knife. What’s it to ya?”

Sam listened in, hoping Gabriel didn’t do anything to Bobby. He was pretty sure Gabriel wanted to help, but Sam wasn’t sure exactly what that entailed. He knew the archangel had an affinity for playing not so harmless pranks and he could only hope Bobby wasn’t one of his newest targets.

“Just wondering why you’re lazing around in that chair,” Gabriel said as he placed his hand on Bobby’s cap. Sam could hear the smirk in his voice. “Especially when there’s no need for it.”

It took a minute for Sam to catch onto to what Gabriel had said, but when he did he dropped what he was doing and ran right over. Before he could say anything, though, Bobby looked up at the angel and pushed out of the wheelchair. For the first time in too long Bobby stood up.

“Oh my God!” Sam exclaimed, drawing the attention of the rest of the house. “You- you fixed him!”

Gabriel faced him. “Can’t have a gimp running around with us slowing us down, now can we? It’s bad enough he’s old, the wheelchair was just too much.” With a smile and a wink Gabriel vanished from the room and the rest of them got back to work.

\---

The only hunter to respond to Bobby’s calls was Rufus Turner. He was his usual angry and nasty self, but once they filled him in on everything he swore he’d help them out and they knew they could count on him. 

Because they were essentially back to square one, right where they’d been before Lucifer had had his powers taken form him, they decided it was best to go along with their original plan and loaded up the Colt. 

It took them three days to get ready to move out together and another day for Gabriel, who had been popping in and out with news every so often, to find Lucifer. During that time Crowley had shown up, panicked and raging about everything going wrong. When they told him what had happened not even the color draining from his face and his sudden loss of words brought them any amusement. He was hasty to wish them luck and told them to summon him when Lucifer was dead before vanishing into thin air, only the stench of sulfur left in his wake. 

Lucifer was holed up in an old western ghost town. Gabriel wasn’t sure what he was up to, but he was sure it was trouble. He told them he remembered the tablet and the havoc the spells and information on it had caused during the last war. Now that Lucifer had it, according to Gabriel, it didn’t matter that he was still powered down. He still had enough power to use most of the spells and probably wouldn’t need the more powerful ones unless all of heaven came to fight.

As Dean drove, Sam couldn’t help but think about everything that had happened. Where had they gone wrong? Was it the tablet simply reminding Lucifer of everything that had happened to him, reawakening his hate and pain? Did what happened in D.C. somehow harm his slowly improving view on humans? Did Sam ruin all of this on his own by giving in to his wants and kissing Lucifer? There was so much that had happened and Sam honestly didn’t know what had made it all fall apart. 

Dean didn’t say anything to him for the entire ride, but Sam felt his brother looking at him far too frequently. He even noticed Castiel giving him worried glances whenever he thought Sam wasn’t looking. He hated how they were feeling bad for him and he kicked himself for being so obvious about how he was feeling, but how was he supposed to help it? He couldn’t stop himself from feeling the way he felt. He had tried so hard already to ignore it all. It hadn’t worked, and this was obviously the result.

The town they arrived in was empty, decaying buildings stood hollowed out and forgotten, the plant life around the town was sparse and mostly brown. Even the wind seemed thin and haunted as it cut through the dusty streets. There were no signs of life as they pulled up alongside an old blue truck that Bobby had recognized as Rufus’. 

The truck was empty, the driver side door was open, the seat was ripped and drops of blood covered it and the ground. It didn’t look like a lot and Sam reasoned in his mind that Rufus could very easily still be alive. Despite that, however, Sam’s grip on the demon knife tightened. No matter how empty the town seemed, he knew they were far from alone there. He remembered exactly what sort of dangers could hide in a place like this.

“Crap,” Bobby said as he hopped out of the truck. He’d gone in looking for a note or some indication that Rufus was waiting for them somewhere else. “There’s nothing in there. He’s gone.”

“Well,” Gabriel said. “This is going swimmingly.”

“Oh shut up,” Dean snapped, crowding the smaller man. “We’re only here because you won’t go fight him yourself!”

Gabriel’s eyes flashed gold as he hissed at Dean. “I told you that the spells Lucifer has are designed to work against angels! He’d be able to end me, no problem! He’s older than me and was always better at fighting, this is going to take a group effort!”

Sam stepped between them quickly. The last thing they needed was for an argument to properly erupt between everyone. “Sniping at each other is not going to help anyone, so back off. Both of you.”

They did, both glaring daggers at the other. If they couldn’t work together there was no hope of them winning this fight. Already they were one person shorter than they planned. As everyone loaded up on salt and weapons the atmosphere was heavy with anticipation and nerves, no one knew what to expect and it wasn’t looking good. 

Sam’s movements were precise as they moved. He was running on instinct and habit, too much hurt and confusion swirling through his head for him to do anything else. Bobby and Dean were at the head of the group, a good three feet ahead over everyone else. Jo, Gabriel, and Castiel were in the middle, eyes sharp and constantly looking to either side. Castiel’s hold on the shotgun he’d been given was awkward, but confident enough. Dean had given him shooting lessons while they’d been preparing at Bobby’s. At the back of the group Ellen and Sam kept an eye out for anything following them. 

The silence of the town had to have been supernatural, Sam thought to himself. It was too complete, too perfect, even their footsteps seemed to be muffled as they moved as quietly as they could through the empty buildings. It wasn’t until they were two blocks from the center of town that the silence was broken by the low growl of something. Sam’s first thought was that a wild dog had found them, but then he noticed Dean’s rigid stance and Castiel inching protectively closer to him.

There were hellhounds about.

“Gabriel,” Dean’s voice was thin but steady as his eyes swept up and down the road. “Where the hell is it?”

“Hiding,” Gabriel responded. “Tricky bastard.”

They all moved in closer together, eyes and ears trained and ready for the slightest hint of movement or sound. The growl echoed around them and Sam had a sinking suspicion that there was more than one hellhound stalking them. He didn’t have time to find out, though, before a blinding flash of light shot out from around them. When it receded, Gabriel was gone and several demons had stepped into the street. One of them, a thin man with a scraggly beard, had a bloodied hand and must have been the one to cast the banishing spell. When several clear snarls came from what appeared to be thin air Sam knew without a doubt they were all well and truly screwed.

Everything was still for a moment, with each side eyeing up the other. Sam could feel his heart thundering in his chest, his breaths coming in quick bursts, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Everything had fallen so far so fast.

Then, suddenly, everything was moving. A hellhound bounded at them and Castiel took his shot, calling out the locations. He could still see them, what little Grace he had left available to him thankfully allowing it. Castiel and Dean managed to drop a pair of hellhounds while Jo and Sam blasted one in midair, knocking it to the ground with a pitiful whimper. Ellen and Bobby called out for them to follow as they blasted their way down the street, salt rounds knocked back the demons which seemed to be coming out of nowhere. They were headed towards the city hall in the center of the town, Gabriel had said that was where Lucifer was operating from. They could only hope he was still there waiting for them. 

They were still half a block away when it happened. Castiel had called out, trying to warn Ellen, but in the chaos of gunfire and battle she hadn’t heard him until it was too late. He shot at the hellhound, but the bullet did nothing to stop it from tearing into Ellen’s side. Bobby shot the beast point blank with his shot gun, kicked out and pushed the dead weight of the invisible hound off of Ellen, to no avail. Her eyes stared up at the sky, blank and lifeless. The cry that Jo let loose was one of the worst sounds Sam had ever heard.

They couldn’t stop, though. There were more hellhounds and demons closing in on them and they needed to keep moving. Bobby pulled Jo to her feet, pushed the gun back into her hands and told her to fight. And fight she did. By the time they made it to the city hall Jo’s body count was even with Dean’s. Her face was wet with tears she’d shed over Ellen’s body and she was covered in grime and gun powder. All of them were a mess, but they needed to finish what they started before they could do anything else. Once Lucifer was dead they would mourn Ellen properly, and probably Rufus too.

There hadn’t been anyone guarding outside the building when they’d broken open the locked front doors. They saw no one inside either as they stalked through the hallways. Their footsteps echoed as they moved, alerting anyone within hearing distance of their presence. Sam worried that Gabriel might have been wrong about Lucifer being there. They checked room after room but to no avail. The building was abandoned. 

Feeling defeated they turned to leave. Ellen’s and Rufus’ deaths had been for nothing and now they had to find a way to make it back to their cars without getting killed themselves. 

Sam was checking the meager amount of bullets left on his person when something exploded down the hall in what would have been the mayor’s office. The building began to catch fire as if it were doused with gasoline. Sam hardly had the time to think of course before Dean was yanking on his arm, hauling him down the corridor. Another explosion in front of them knocked everyone to the ground, smoke poured into the air and debris covered everything. They’d been set up, by whom, Sam wasn’t sure, but they had definitely been lead right into a trap. 

“Dean! Cas!” Sam called out, down on the floor to avoid the smoke. “Jo? Bobby? Anyone?”

The roaring of the fire covered up any replies he might have gotten. Unable to be of any help, even if he did find someone, he started to move in the direction of what he hoped was an exit, or at least a window he could jump out of. Covering his face with his jacket, Sam stood and made his way through the smoke and flames. Another explosion sounded, but it was distant, the other side of the building most likely. It took Sam some desperate, half blind stumbling but eventually he made it out into the open air. He ran from the burning building until he was in the street and looked back. He had no idea how the flames had spread so quickly, but they had nearly enveloped the entire structure. 

“Sam! Sammy!” To his left Dean came running up to him, Castiel right behind him. “You’re okay!”

“Yeah,” he sighed, feeling drained. “Where are Bobby and Jo?”

“We’ve got Bobby around the corner. Something feel on his head and knocked him out and jumping out of the second story window wasn’t exactly good for our health,” he said, hand clamped firmly around Sam’s arm. “Jo’s not with you?”

Sam shook his head. Jo was still inside! He made to run back in and try and find her but another explosion went off and with it the ceiling and several walls crumbled. There was no way someone could survive that. Sam’s legs nearly gave out beneath him as the reality of the day sunk in. They’d come here to kill Lucifer and had lost three people – family members. 

He didn’t remember getting back into the Impala or the ride to the motel somewhere in Wyoming where they planned to spend the night before heading back to Bobby’s. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten into bed, much less how he had managed to fall asleep. Everything was cloudy and numb and he knew he was running on auto pilot but he couldn’t find it in himself to pull out of the fog. 

He woke to the call of Gabriel, returned to them with another, what Sam assumed was an angel, beside him. “Wake up! We’re running out of time!”

Sam bolted up, the pleasant haze of a dreamless sleep dissipated instantly. Gabriel looked on edge, his normal relaxed and loose posture was stiff, his smirk nowhere to be seen. “Raphael,” Castiel greeted the other angel in a cautiously questioning voice. “Gabriel what is going on?”

Gabriel looked over at Castiel and Dean, both of them still half-dressed and under the covers. “We needed help. Things have gotten a lot worse.”

“What are you talkin’ ‘bout?” Bobby croaked from the couch that was shoved into a corner of the room in a sad attempt to make it seem more like a home. “What happened?”

“The Prophet is dead. Lucifer came at him and I was too late to stop him,” Raphael announced. He looked angry, insulted even. 

“Wait,” Sam said, climbing out of bed and pulling on his shirt. “Chuck’s dead?” He couldn’t believe it. 

“Yeah,” Gabriel snapped. “The Prophet is gone, which means Lucifer is getting stronger. He shouldn’t have been able to slip by Raphael like that. We need to find him. Now.”

“We’ll need supplies for a demon summoning then,” Bobby said.

\---

Crowley hadn’t answered their calls. Even a forceful summoning turned up nothing. After the sixth failed attempt they gave up. Crowley must have been killed and they had lost their in with Hell and were without a way to find Lucifer. Gabriel and Raphael had assured them that Lucifer was using the tablet’s spells to cloak himself and there was no way to track him without knowing where he already was.

“I know where he is.” In the doorway stood Meg, dark hair falling in loose curls around her face, eyes flashed pitch black at them. “And I’ll even let you in on the secret.”

“Abomination!” Raphael hissed, moving forwards like he might smite her right then and there. Thankfully Gabriel held him back, regarding Meg with interest.

“Why would you turn on him?” Gabriel asked, curiosity written all over his face. “I thought you demons saw him as your Savior?”

Meg’s expression soured. “We do… did. He’s not what I thought he’d be. None of this is what was foretold. I want it over and I know if anyone can do it, it’s gonna be you Winchesters and your ragtag team. Now, do you want to know how to find him?”

They laid a trap for him. Sam would call for Lucifer, the summoning overriding Castiel’s cloaking sigils. Once Lucifer was Gabriel and Raphael would attack and finish him off. When Dean asked about “God’s Plan” Raphael told him that everything had become so skewed that even Michael just wanted everything to be over. Everyone’s goal was to end Lucifer. Sam tried not to think about it too much, it made his chest hurt.

Sam stood out in an abandoned parking garage, top floor under the darkening sky. He wasn’t sure where he was, exactly, Gabriel had chosen the venue and had teleported them all there. All he needed to do was call for Lucifer – pray to him. He thought of Ellen and Jo, he thought of the world and the millions of lives that would be lost. He thought of Dean and Bobby, still breathing and alive, waiting for him to do this, just out of sight. He remembered Balthazar’s wings scorched onto a motel wall and the lost, hopeless look in Castiel’s eyes as he looked down at his murdered brother.

With a final breath Sam closed his eyes and prayed. 

The sound of wings alerted him to Lucifer’s arrival. He opened his eyes and saw the archangel looking at him with a curious sort of air. “Sam, I didn’t expect this.”

Voice breaking Sam managed, “Yeah, me neither.”

That was when Gabriel and Raphael made their move. Sam backed away as quickly as he could, making his way to the stairwell where he’d meet Bobby, Castiel, and Dean on the lower levels. He grabbed the railing, ready to make his way down, but made the mistake of looking back at the fight.

Lucifer was furious, that much was obvious. He dodged and ducked from Gabriel and Raphael’s blades, striking back at them when he had openings. No one was landing a hit, but it was a close thing. Sam was amazed that Lucifer was holding his own against a pair of archangels, powered down as he was. The chilling realization that this battle would already be over if Lucifer had been at full strength washed over Sam and he feared for Gabriel and Raphael. 

Between the blows and dodges Sam could hear words thrown about, hissed and filled with pain and hate. He couldn’t understand any of them and he was sure that they were speaking Enochian. Sam stood there in the shadow of the stairwell, watching the three brothers attack each other, knowing that at least one of them wasn’t going to walk away from this. Sam wasn’t sure who the pain in his heart was for, but it was intense, nonetheless.

Finally a blow landed, knocking Gabriel to the ground and sliding him clear across the lot. Raphael shouted something out but Sam couldn’t hear it over the thundering in his own ears as he called out Gabriel’s name and made to rush forward, stopping himself before he made it more than a step. The look of pure hurt Lucifer gave him nearly shattered the hunter’s heart. The fallen archangel looked so betrayed.

Everything flew into motion then. Raphael tried to use Lucifer’s distraction to his advantage and lunged at him only to be grabbed and slammed into the ground. One hand gripped Raphael’s neck tightly as Lucifer positioned his blade over Raphael’s heart. “You should have stayed up in Heaven, where you were safe.” Raphael tried to respond but it was clear that his vessel wasn’t cooperating with him. 

Just when Sam was sure Raphael’s end was at hand, Gabriel returned to the fight, slamming his body into Lucifer and knocking them both to the ground in a frenzied tangle. “Run!” Gabriel cried at Raphael. “Get out of here and warn Michael! He’s too strong with the tablet!” Raphael looked torn, concern for his brother obvious in every line of his body. “Go! Now!”

And Raphael fled. Something in Sam told him they wouldn’t be seeing the archangel again.

Gabriel and Lucifer continued their fight and Sam was impressed that Gabriel still managed to keep up with Lucifer’s attacks. “Learned some neat tricks from the Pagans,” Gabriel said. “You’re gonna have to do better to get one up on me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Gabriel,” Lucifer said even as he swung out at his brother. “Don’t make me do this.”

“No one’s making you do anything. No one ever makes any of us do anything!” Gabriel snapped back. “You’re just pissed at me. How come? Because I went missing?” Swing forward. “Because you got locked up for disobeying while I got left alone?” Dodge, just barely. “Or is it because I’ve gotten chummy with your human, huh?”

Lucifer moved faster than Sam could see. He gasped when he saw that Lucifer now had Gabriel pinned against a concrete wall, the stone around him cracking under the pressure. Lucifer’s blade was pressed against Gabriel’s throat, the point digging into the skin and Sam could see a trickle of blood run down Gabriel’s neck.

"Lucifer, stop this." Gabriel gasped, Lucifer’s eyes flicked over to Sam quickly before pressing him further into the concrete wall. "Please, Lucifer."

"You should have stayed hidden, Gabriel. I would have left you be if only you’d stayed away," Lucifer said, the heartache in his voice a knife in Sam's gut. "You made me do this."

Gabriel's eyes widened as Lucifer's blade was shoved into his chest. "Brother, no..."

As the light of a dying angel erupted Sam fled down the stairs to meet with Dean, Castiel, and Bobby below. He spotted them, along with Meg, fighting off a pack of demons. For a second he thought Meg had set them up, but as he watched he saw that she was fighting alongside them, against the other demons. Instantly, Sam joined the fray, both to help his family and to forget the pain of what he had just watched happen. Not only were they without the only archangel willing to help but another friend was dead and Sam couldn’t help but feel as though it was at least partially his fault.

The fight with the demons was beyond difficult, even with the demon killing knife firmly in his hand. He lost sight of Bobby and Castiel often, Dean vanished from his view a handful of times. They worked their way down the stairwells, trying to get to the car Dean had insisted Gabriel bring along and away. Their mission had failed and they needed to retreat and regroup yet again. The building was only five stories tall, counting the top floor where the archangels had fought, but it seemed so much taller as they fought through the horde of demons. On the final flight of stairs they found themselves alone, having either killed or chased off every demon that had been attacking them. The only one missing from their group was Meg and Sam would have thought to turn back for her if she were human or if there had been less pressing circumstances. He regretted losing her, but there were more pressing concerns. 

As Dean started up the Impala people began to amble out of the darkness towards them, once Dean flipped on the headlights they could see clearly what they were facing. Sam recognized the mindless, violent look in their eyes. The Croatoan virus had been loosed and had them in its hold. With a bitter curse Dean realized the same thing and floored the Impala, effectively barreling through the small group of infected humans. 

They drove for a long time, defeated and, if Sam was reading the atmosphere in the car correctly, more than a little bit terrified. They’d just lost two of their biggest players today alone, not to mention their total losses during this entire endeavor. Everything seemed bleak and hopeless as Dean put as many miles between them and the site of Gabriel’s demise as he could.

At some point Sam managed to fall asleep.

\---

Everything was hazy and out of focus. There were blurred and muted colors – greens and browns and blues – but no shapes or proper lines. There was a soft murmur, a whisper of sound, coming from all around him. Sam knew right away that he was dreaming and he was not alone.

Lucifer stood before him, arms folded, eyes upwards, his face a grim mask of poorly veiled betrayal. Sam moved towards him, unafraid due to the dream and its atmosphere. He came to a halt less than a foot from the angel and it took everything in him not to reach out and touch Lucifer, wrap his arms around him. He knew his emotions were showing plain on his face, but Sam couldn’t find the strength to hide them. When Lucifer finally looked at Sam it felt as if the ground beneath his feet fell away and he was falling into oblivion. 

The archangel’s icy eyes were alight with pain and anger, his focus was sharp and trained solely on Sam. “You can’t win, Sam. You never could.”

“Please,” he choked out. “Stop this, Lucifer. Why are you doing this?”

“Because it needs to be done Sam. Humans are filth and they need to be wiped clean from the Earth.”

“But what about us?” Sam tried. “You liked us – Jo, Ellen, Dean, Bobby. What about them?” He took a steadying breath. “What about me?”

Lucifer shrugged, the gesture bitter in its humanity. “There are exceptions to every rule.” 

“Humanity is good, Lucifer,” Sam insisted. “You just need to give them a chance!”

“No, Sam. The occasional person is good. Humanity, people, are stupid, violent, filthy and dangerous animals and you know it. I did give them a chance, and everywhere we went there were constant examples of humanity’s failures as a species. Greed, violence, willful ignorance. Not even those who say they wish to protect others really do. Those FBI agents think that you and your brother are evil, humans tear each other apart in so many ways – big and small—to the point where that is what they expect to see. Where is there any goodness in that Sam?” Lucifer stepped closer to Sam, his blue eyes burning into him. “Let me cleanse this world, my father’s beautiful creation. Stand down and I’ll leave you and your family be.”

“What’s left of my family,” Sam snapped before he’d really thought of what he was saying. “Just… stop. Please Lucifer. I don’t want to be fighting with you like this. Please, I can’t do this. I love you.”

There it was. He’d finally said it. The emotions and thoughts that had been plaguing Sam for weeks now were finally out in the open, spoken and given form. Not that they could do any good.

“I know, Sam,” Lucifer said, the same look on his face as when he’d explained why he could not love Sam back. “You are an amazing individual and I do love you, as well, in my own way. I always have. I loved you before you were born, because you are mine.”

He moved forward and cupped the side of Sam’s face in his hand, the skin cool to the touch. “I’m asking you to stop and stand aside, Sam. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will have no choice but to fight back.”

For one, wild moment Sam wanted to agree. He wanted to do whatever Lucifer asked of him because he just wanted all of the fighting and pain to be over, but he knew better. The world – billions of people – hung in the balance and he couldn’t forsake them just to protect his own heart. He could see Lucifer knew his answer before he even opened his mouth to speak.

“No.”

“Then I am very sorry for this,” he sighed and the world around them dissolved into nothing.

\---

Sam woke to screams and gun shots and the sinking sense of loss. The car was pulled up to a gas pump and the sky was beginning to turn a soft pink with the rising sun. No one was in the car with him and the commotion outside was obviously why. Sitting up and springing into action, Sam pulled out Ruby’s knife and scrambled out of the car, the fog of sleep gone in an instant.

He knew as soon as he found the fight that he was too late. Three men, who Sam assumed were demons, were already retreating as Castiel fired off a few shots at them, catching one in the leg and knocking him to the ground. Dean was kneeling over a body that Sam realized with icy shock was Bobby. Feeling cold to his core Sam ran over to Dean and knelt down beside him. He could tell already there was no way to help. Bobby’s throat was covered in his own blood, his eyes still open and staring and not a single movement coming from him. Tears pricked at Sam’s eyes and he felt his chest clench with sobs that wanted to be released.

He heard Castiel approaching from behind, his steps uneven. He knelt along with them and Sam got a good look at his face. There was a dark bruise blooming under his eye and a cut on his lip that was slowly oozing blood. There was dirt and dried blood all over his skin and clothes and it all seemed so wrong. Everything was wrong. His family was dead, Castiel was human, Lucifer was gunning for them. None of this was right.

He couldn’t hold back the tears any more. They fell from his eyes and to the ground in heavy drops. Why was this happening?

“Where were you back there, man?” Dean’s question came. His words were broken and tight, not even Sam’s big brother could keep up his impassive face while Bobby lay broken in front them. “We got jumped and I couldn’t wake you up.”

Sniffling, Sam wiped at his eyes. “Lucifer,” was all he needed to say and all he gave.

With a single, curt nod Dean stood. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”

“How, Dean? Gabriel and Raphael working together still failed. I’m beginning to think all we can do is run,” Castiel said hollowly. His eyes were dull as they took in Bobby’s body. The ex-angel had lost so much in so little time, even as bad as Sam was feeling, his heart still went out to Castiel.

“We’ll find a way. I don’t care what I have to do,” Dean hissed, fists clenched at his sides. “I’m going to end that bastard.”

Something about the way Dean spoke rang with a finality that had the hair on Sam’s arms standing on end.

They carried Bobby out into the surrounding field burned his body, hurriedly piling back into the Impala before anyone else stopped by the little gas station and made things even more complicated. They were still a good distance away from Bobby’s house but they had nowhere else to go. It was already warded and the only place to make their last stand from, they were going to make it. They didn’t have another option.

It was two weeks before they got another chance. 

Castiel and Dean had been keeping to themselves, Dean teaching Castiel how to fight like a human, how to live like one as well. Sam wondered if they blamed him for Bobby’s death. He wouldn’t hold it against them if they did. He blamed himself. If he’d only been able to break free of Lucifer’s grip, if he hadn’t been so self-indulgent in his want for Lucifer’s company, Bobby might have walked away form that fight. He had let his love for the archangel get the better of him, though, and because of that Bobby was dead.

They’d been trying to pinpoint a location for Lucifer, one that they could get to and make a stand at, but he was all over the map and half the time they weren’t even sure if the signs they were getting were from Lucifer or one of his demons. Once he’d killed Gabriel and chased away Raphael Lucifer had stopped cloaking himself. Sam was sure it was it was the fallen angel’s ego getting the better of him, but the hunter couldn’t honestly find a reason for Lucifer to need to hide any more. It wasn’t as if they were a threat. Trying to track Lucifer like they were was no better than taking shots in the dark and Sam was getting tired of wasting time. So he proposed a plan.

They were going to summon Lucifer, a forceful summoning that would drag the angel to them, kicking and screaming if need be. Then they would shoot and kill him with the Colt. There wouldn’t be time for Lucifer to call on his demons or get the upper hand. It was going to be a simple summon and shoot. There was little room for error. The only thing they needed to worry about was the hundred foot summoning area. According to Castiel, Lucifer could appear anywhere within one hundred feet of the summoning. They’d have to be quick, but it was their best shot at killing Lucifer. 

Sam should have known better than to leave even that much up to chance.

The summoning was difficult to set up, but Sam hadn’t thought it’d be easy. Forcing an archangel to you was bound to take a lot of power. They performed it just outside of town, in a clearing in the middles of the forest. Sam performed the spell while Dean and Castiel stood not ten feet from him, Colt at the ready. Once the spell was done there were two beats of silence before the sound of wings washed over them. Sam knew everything had gone wrong when Lucifer had appeared directly behind Dean.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, panic rising in his chest and the taste of bile in the back of his throat. “Behind you!” He couldn’t lose Dean, he just couldn’t!

Dean tried to turn and face Lucifer, aim the Colt and shoot, but he never stood a chance. He was flung to the side like a ragdoll, slamming against a nearby tree trunk. Sam rushed after his brother, hearing Castiel’s voice call out Dean’s name in a panic. He didn’t look over to the pair of angels until he was at Dean’s side helping him up.

“Cas!” 

Castiel and Lucifer circled each other. Somehow Castiel had managed to summon his angel blade, the strain of it showing on his face. In a last ditch effort Castiel lunged and made to stab Lucifer. It didn’t work. Lucifer grabbed Castiel by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him close, impaling the younger angel on the end of his own sword. Castiel’s eyes found Dean and though no sound came out it was clear that the hunter’s name was on his lips as the glow of dying Grace shimmered in his blue eyes. 

“Cas! No!” Dean screamed, sounding broken and fighting to get to his feet. There was nothing he could do, Dean had dropped the Colt at Lucifer’s feet when he’d been thrown and Castiel was already dead. Fearing for his brother’s life Sam covered Dean’s eyes and sliced open his arm and began drawing a banishing sigil onto the tree’s trunk quickly while Castiel’s grace flared over them.

He was glad he had when Lucifer turned his attention on Dean, expression set and sword drawn against Sam’s brother. Sam finished the sigil just as Lucifer was close enough to strike Dean. With a flash and a distant scream Lucifer was gone, but not for long, Sam knew. The archangel would be back and he would be after Dean and Sam’s lives.

Dean fell to the ground next to Castiel’s body, avoiding the wing marks now scorched upon the earth. Dean didn’t even bother holding back or hiding the tears that welled up in his eyes and tumbled down his cheeks. Sam stood silently behind his brother, tears making tracks down his face as he tried to keep focused and not let anything sneak up on them. 

Through his tears Dean managed to say “I never told him, Sammy. He never knew.”

They both knew what he was saying. It had been obvious for ages now. Softly, Sam responded “He knew Dean. He knew.”

“I never said it though… too much of a coward.” Sam didn’t know what to say, so he put his hand on Dean’s shoulder and stayed with him until he was ready to give Castiel a proper hunter’s funeral. They were silent through the whole thing, Dean a dark and broken presence by Sam’s side. 

He didn’t know what they were going to do, if there was anything left that they could do. Once the sun began to set Sam excused himself from the smoldering pile of remains. He picked up the Colt and headed back to the Impala. He couldn’t think, he needed the solace of the car, the peace of being alone. It didn’t take Sam long to regret leaving Dean out there by himself. He hadn’t been inside the Impala for more than fifteen minutes when the lights began to flicker and static sounded from the radio. He knew before he saw what was happening.

Sam ran, desperate and already lost. Not Dean too, he begged anyone who would listen. Not Dean too! 

The light was blinding and Sam held up his arm to shield his eyes on instinct. When everything faded Dean stood in the same place Sam had left him, but already, just by the posture, Sam knew it wasn’t Dean anymore. Sad eyes turned on him, familiar and alien all at the same time. 

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Michael said using Dean’s mouth but not sounding anything like him. “I really did want this to work out for the better.” And just like that he was gone along with Dean and the last of Sam’s family was gone.

The world began to close in around him, cutting off his air and blacking out his vision. He’d lost everything. They were all gone and he was left there alone and hopeless. He must have driven himself back to Bobby’s because the next thing he knew he was sitting down on his bed. The emptiness of the house echoed around him making the silence seem like it was thundering loud, about to split open his head. The contradictions of it all made him feel like he was losing his mind. 

He was praying before he thought to stop himself. He begged for it to stop, for someone to come and take the pain away. He didn’t pray to anyone in particular, he just prayed, sending his frantic thoughts and wishes out in the futile hopes that someone would hear him and take pity.

Sam could hardly believe it when he heard the whisper of wings. He knew who it was before he even looked up to meet cold, blue eyes. “Hello Sam.”

“Why?” he asked hoarsely. “ _Why_?”

“I told you, it had to be done. I offered to keep them safe-”

“No!” Sam said, suddenly angry. “You offered to not actively seek us out! You never said anything about keeping us safe!”

He stood and crowded against the archangel, his anger giving him strength he hadn’t known he still had in him. Lucifer had done this, it was all his fault. He killed Ellen and Jo, he was the one who stabbed Gabriel, it was his fault Castiel and Dean were gone. Lucifer was to blame for every last hurt in Sam’s life and that enraged him. He loved Lucifer and Lucifer had done nothing but hurt him. The Colt was in his hand, the metal of it suddenly burning along with his rage. 

Sam didn’t think as he shouted “You did this!” and fired a bullet into Lucifer’s chest. The shot echoed everywhere as Lucifer fell to his knees, gasping in pain. And just like that, all of the anger drained out of Sam and with it any strength he had left. 

He sunk to the floor as well, Colt falling useless to the side. Blood was pooling on the floor as it oozed from Lucifer’s chest. The archangel’s eyes were glowing as he began to die, his life still tied to his vessel. He’d done it. He’d killed Lucifer, gotten revenge for everyone and saved the world. He’d finally done it and it couldn’t have hurt more. Tears welled up in his eyes and he wept as Lucifer watched him, a sadness reflected in those ageless eyes. 

“It hurts,” he cried. “It hurts so much.” He had nothing left in him to fight with, barely enough in him to live. “I’m alone.”

A wet cough gathered his attention. “You don’t have to be Sam,” he said, the words wet through the blood. “There’s a way, ack, a way I can help you. I can take it all away. We can be together for eternity.”

Sam knew what he was saying. Lucifer wanted him to say yes and give in to being his vessel.

“You won’t disappear, Sam. You’ll always be there, with me, I could never burn you out.” he coughed, his face was growing pale and the light in his eyes glowed brighter. There wasn’t much time left. “I’ll take all the pain away, you will never hurt again, never be alone again. We’ll be together and I’ll love you and you will feel it every second of your existence, forever.”

It scared him how badly he wanted it. There was nothing holding him back. Everyone he loved had died and he was there with the last being in the world who cared about him, begging to be saved. Only Sam could save him, just like Sam had ended him.

“Please.”

He didn’t want to be alone.

“Yes.”

And the world went white.

\---

The first thing Sam thought was that Lucifer had been right; there was no pain now that he was Lucifer’s vessel. He felt calm and warm and safe. Everything around him was soft and comforting in an almost magical way. He didn’t realize that something was wrong until he felt warm breath against his chest and recognized that a warm arm was draped almost possessively over his hip. His eyes flew open and right in front of him was Lucifer’s face, eyes closed and expression calm.

Sam didn’t shout but it was a near thing as he tensed up and nearly scrambled away from archangel who had opened his eyes as soon as Sam had tensed in shock. He had no idea what was going on. Lucifer in that body was dead, he and Sam were one now and everyone else was gone, but then he heard movement from the house. Dean and Bobby were talking and moving about, they were alive.

“Sam?” Lucifer asked softly, concern lacing through his voice and features. “Are you alright?”

Air rushed back into his lungs as he released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Everyone was okay. Lucifer was there. Dean was alive and Michael was still in heaven. Nothing had fallen apart. 

Yet.

“Yeah, just… just a bad dream.” Sam hoped that it was just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still not sorry about this at all.


End file.
